'She said she dated me to make someone else jealous'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I was in love with a girl for a very long time and, eventually, she told me she felt the same way about me. We were together for around two years, after which she broke up with me. This hurt me a lot at the time but, over a year or so, I got over it and moved on. I ran into her at a common friend's place a week or so ago and we chatted for a while. After a few minutes, she told me that she was never in love with me, and had only used me because she wanted to make someone jealous. She says she succeeded and went on to marry that person. I don't know what to think about this. I feel betrayed, and as if I have lost two years of my life to a lie. How do I get over this? I hate her so much that I don't even want to see her face anymore.
The anger you feel is justified, on the basis of what she said to you. I do find it hard to believe though, to be honest. If she wanted to make someone jealous, and spent two years of her life trying to do this, isn't she the one who lost a part of her life to a lie? If you were happy during those two years, irrespective of what she says now, and for whatever reason she says it now, why not focus on that happiness and treat it as a happy memory that belongs to your past instead? You no longer have her in your life, and don't have to see her again if you choose not to, so why ruin your future by focusing on what may not even be true in the first place? Why would anyone give up two years of their life and spend it with someone they don't care about just to make someone else jealous? Move on. I believe the joke is on her.
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