'My 9-year-old son saw my father watching porn'

By  Dr. Love | Posted  18-Mar-2017

I am a 35-year-old woman with a 9-year-old son. I am a working woman and my son, who studies in Class IV, lives with my parents by day, until I pick him up in the evening and take him to the home of my in-laws. My in-laws are very old and unable to look after my son. My son recently told me that he found his grandfather -- my father -- watching pornography online. I told my mother about this, but nothing changed. My husband works abroad and comes home for a month every year. He didn't do anything about this either, despite my telling him what our son had seen. After more complaints, my father stopped watching pornography for a few days, but has started doing this again. I am worried about my son because I don't want him to get addicted to this sort of thing. I wonder if I should quit working and stay home to look after him, but my parents have always taken care of him. This means that even if I am home, he will run to his grandparents' home because he is attached to them. My father is a good person, but I worry about his influence on my son. What do you suggest I do?
— Kavita D

You can't protect your child from anything out there, of course, but you must acknowledge the fact that your father is being extremely irresponsible about this. He needs a good talking to, and your mother needs to play a role here as well, considering this is about good parenting. If staying home in order to protect your child doesn't seem like a viable option, why not simply get rid of your father's Internet connection? If that isn't possible, you can still download software that restricts Internet usage to pre-approved sites. Either way, it is your father who must learn to be more responsible, given the circumstances. Speak to him about it and get him to understand your point of view.