'Too shy to ask her out? Just start as friends'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I have been interested in a girl from my neighbourhood for a long time now. I don't know how to tell her this because I am extremely shy by nature. My friends have intro-duced me to her too, but all I can say is hello. What can I do to tell her that I like her?
You're probably shy because you're approaching this person as someone you have to declare your interest to. You don't have to. All you have to do is have a normal conversation. Since you know her already, simply speak about anything and everything other than your interest in her. She needs to see you as an individual too, before she can respond to non-verbal signals like smiling. The best way of telling someone you're interested is to spend time with him or her and find out more about the person, so they believe you want to get to know them better. Start with that simple idea and let the rest happen as it may.
My girlfriend and I argue about money often. We used to be okay with this a while ago, but now it becomes a problem even when we go out to dinner or watch a movie. This is beginning to harm our relationship in a big way. Is there something we can do to prevent it from becoming a bigger problem in the future?
This is more of a power struggle than anything else. It's also a minor issue if you can both just sit down and discuss it. Try and put things down on paper if it helps, to figure out why you are both having trouble with it. Maybe you both have different expectations from each other, or different ideas about who is supposed to pay for what. Figure out what your earnings are and what a decent budget ought to be, and try sticking to it. This isn't as serious as you make it out to be. Each of you simply needs to try and understand the other person's point of view.
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