• 'He comments on women even when he's with me'

    Dr LoveMumbaiMay 26, 2017, 06:01 IST

    My boyfriend likes commenting on every woman he sees, whenever we are out together. These are disparaging remarks about their looks or what they wear. I understand that he and his male friends do this a lot, but I find it strange that he thinks it is okay for him to do this with me too. I asked him about it, and he says it's because he's comfortable with me. I can't get him to understand that the sheer act of commenting on a woman is what bothers me, let alone the fact that he is sharing those comments with me. I don't think I like him anymore because of this habit. What can I do to change him?

    Unfortunately for most of us, we live in a society populated largely by misogynistic, sexually repressed men. It's why our politicians behave the way they do, why item numbers are passed off as entertainment and why some men think of it as their right to have an opinion on every woman they meet. Your boyfriend isn't an exception; he is, sadly, the norm. Nothing can change this unless people like you speak to men like him regularly and get them to understand that a woman has a right to do anything she wants, wear whatever she wants and behave in any manner she wants to, because these are freedoms men in our country have long taken for granted. Your boyfriend needs to see things from a female point of view, which is a perspective that is missing or has long been buried in our mainstream discourse. If he's intelligent enough, he will understand you and stop. If he isn't, I suggest you choose your next boyfriend a little more carefully.

    What is the best thing I can do to make sure my girlfriend and I have a long and happy relationship together?

    Communicate regularly and honestly, trust her implicitly, accept her the way she is, and show her that you love her. It's not rocket science.

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