'I'm a decent guy; why can't I find a girlfriend?'

By  Dr Love | Posted  11-Mar-2017

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

I am a 26-year-old South Indian male working in Navi Mumbai. What worries me is that I am not in a relationship with anyone. I am romantic and honest but not silly, and I don't sugar-coat anything. I am always nice while speaking to people and can say, without exaggeration, that I am a confident, decent guy. I have good male and female friends, and they all keep asking me why I don't have a girlfriend. I turned down two proposals in college, because I was sure we wouldn't get along. I don't talk to strangers, especially to strange girls, because I don't have opportunities to do so. I am extremely attracted to some girls though, as anyone my age would be, but despite my physique and talents, I don't have a girlfriend. I may be married after two years, but I guess it is important to be in a few healthy relationships now. Is there any place where I can meet someone genuine? — John P


It may seem as if you're the only one in this position, but you're not. At the risk of losing all credibility, I must mention a song by '60s pop group The Supremes: 'You can't hurry love'. This sounds ridiculous but, given all the things you say about being a nice, decent person, it really is just a matter of time before you meet someone you want to spend time with and, more importantly, someone who reciprocates. If you aren't meeting anyone new, all you have to do is expand your social circles. Join groups that do things you like doing. Technology makes this easier than ever before. Get friends to introduce you to new people. Speak to as many people as you can, and not just because you want a girlfriend. Lastly, don't give this too much importance, because it's not what defines who you are. You can't force yourself into a relationship just because you want to tick something off your list.

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