'I was mean to her, but now I want her to like me'

By  Dr Love | Posted  06-Mar-2017

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

I am in Grade 10. I used to hate a girl in my class for petty issues. I was rude to her, which made her start hating me too. However, over the last few months or so, I have suddenly started finding her hot and cute. I can't get her out of my mind. She thinks I still hate her though, and she hates me too. Please help me. I am madly in love with her. — Shubh S

 

If she thinks that you still hate her, all you have to do is tell her that you don't. Often, people don't magically assume things about other people until they are specifically told. A change of feelings is quite normal, considering that hate also requires an enormous amount of effort and concentrated feeling directed towards a specific person. I'm not sure if this radical change can be described as love, but you won't know until you manage to have a heart-to-heart conversation with this girl. Don't just tell her that you don't hate her; let your actions prove it to her instead. Start by just smiling at her more often.

I am 26 years old and have been in a relationship for 9 years. My girlfriend and I haven't had sex though, because we don't want to before marriage. I have had a few affairs over the past 4 or 5 years, and these have involved sex with various women. Will this affect my married life in future? — Swapnil D

In terms of how this may affect you physically, I suppose the only risk is disease, if you haven't used proper protection. As for emotional damage, your affairs are, in effect, an act of cheating against your girlfriend. How you let this define your future with her is up to you. Whether or not you choose to tell her about these affairs is also entirely up to you. Will she still want to marry you if she finds out?

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