'I caught my girlfriend kissing her ex-boyfriend'

By  Dr Love | Posted  08-Mar-2017

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

A while ago, my girlfriend and I went to meet her first boyfriend. While we were there, I happened to fall asleep for a while. When I woke up, I saw her kissing him. I said nothing at the time, but mentioned it after we left. She didn’t deny it. Later, she sent me messages apologising for her behaviour. I don’t know what to say or think. I love her a lot. — SS

Sometimes, a kiss is just a kiss. If you love her a lot, and she apologises for her behaviour, it’s whether or not you choose to put this behind you that matters. It could have been nostalgia, because one’s first love is usually hard to forget but, again, you have to think about how badly you want her in your life, how much you respect and trust her, before you decide to let this incident colour your future.

I was in a relationship with a boy for almost 2 years before breaking up due to some serious family issues. I tried going back to him after the issues were sorted out, but he said he had moved on. So I did too. After a year, he came back to me. He didn’t say he loved me, but made me feel special nonetheless and raised my hopes. I used to handle all his tantrums because I wanted him by my side. Suddenly, he stopped talking to me and began to abuse me when I asked him what the reason was. After a while, he told me he liked someone else. When I ask him about his behaviour, he points out that he never said he loved me. Is it really my fault? Should I feel guilty about this? — Alisha G

Why do you need to feel guilty about anything? Also, why assume he wants you back in his life when he told you, on two separate occasions now, that he has feelings for someone else? Sometimes, it’s best to leave the past behind.

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