• 'How soon can I ask her to have sex with me?'

    Dr LoveMumbaiOct 02, 2017, 07:46 IST

    How soon can I ask my girlfriend to have sex with me? We have been dating for over a month now.
    That is between the two of you alone.

    I wanted to marry someone who was kind, attentive and affectionate. I thought I had made the right decision but, a few months into our marriage, my husband admitted to me that he was gay. It wasn't an arranged marriage, so this came as a huge shock to me, because there were no indications about his sexual preferences before marriage. I was hurt and asked him why he did this. He said he had to pretend to be straight simply because his family would never forgive him if they found out. This was all an elaborate hoax, and I was the victim for no fault of my own. I am considering a divorce, but I have second thoughts because he really is a kind person. I can manage without sex, but I don't know if I am prepared to live alone. What do I do?
    Is that your only criteria — to be with someone kind? What about honesty, physical intimacy, companionship? Yes, your husband can offer you a comfortable life, but what you choose to do about his revelation must depend upon what you want out of life. If this is all you need, stick with him by all means. Do ask yourself about living with someone who loves you though, because there is much to be said about that too. Weigh the pros and cons of accepting a relationship and what it means on the basis of how much happiness it brings you. You deserve to be happy with someone who wants to be with you, not someone who uses you as an alibi to mask who he is as a person. I can't comment on what's right or wrong, only that you choose what is best for you based on what you want out of life. Examine your priorities.

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