So by now everyone’s heard of Pokemon Go! Right?
So by now everyone’s heard of Pokemon Go! Right?
No? Okay, you have heard of it, dear reader, obviously, but you’re not sure what the fuss is about.
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So, it’s this augmented reality game, where you wander about the place obsessively looking for fictional characters. Then, you capture them.
Illustration/Uday Mohite
(I know it sounds ominously like that 80’s craze… Pac Man).
Research has shown that the results are both rewarding and tragic — being run over, robbed and riddled with bullets are just some of the macabre fallouts.
On another level, I don’t understand how this is any different from our everyday life in India. But hey, that’s me.
I mean, for instance, I receive my electricity bill — I go to a fictional office looking for a fictional counter to pay my bill… there are fictional officials who are out to fictional lunch.
At least in Pokeman Go! I can see these creatures and follow them and capture them.
Worried parents watching their crazy kids run out of the homes in a catatonic daze, justify, “At least my Pappu is outdoors, burning some calories”.
No he’s not, ignorant parent. The only exercise he’s getting are for his thumb and forefinger.
Plus, he’s just caused five cars to crash as they tried to avoid colliding with him on Dadar flyover.
Anyway, mastery over video games and mobile pastimes that explore virtual reality is my special skill set — many clients have approached me to create variations or customise Pokeman Go! for their specific needs.
Here are some of my software options:
1. Worried road contractors, who’ve been thrown into jail for their shoddy work, have called frantically. For them I have created a GPS based solution to warn pedestrians and motorists called ‘Pothole man! Don’t go!’
2. The Lodha Commission has asked me to devise a game that enables them to sack people within the BCCI — corrupt officials, 70+ old timers, players cum politicians. The new game is called ‘Pack up men! Go!’
3. I’ve created a software for BJP to hang onto Navjot Singh Sidhu and prevent him from going to the AAP. At least till the Punjab elections are over. It’s called “Paaji mann lo! Please Don’t Go’.
4. For the cops who are trying to crack the Indrani Mukerjea soap opera, I have a fabulous game in mind named ‘Pack her up in a suitcase and Go”.
5. Masterchef India is another client — To make the programme seem more desi, I’m renaming it ‘Pakao-man’.
6. For our meddling, heckling neighbours across the border, I have created a reality app called ‘Pak! Just go’.
7. For politicians who sleep in Parliament — either because they’re bored or jetlagged — I have a video game with a built-in alarm clock. It’s called ‘Wake me up before you go go!’
8. Finally, the Catholics of Bandra, needed an app to help them locate local food eateries. So, I’ve created — ‘Poke, men, let’s go!’ Where the hungry can find all the Goan delicacies they want — poke sorpotel, poke roast and poke sausage chilly fry.
Rahul da Cunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahuldacunha62@gmail.com
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