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Rahul da Cunha: Setting a President

Updated on: 23 July,2017 08:19 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Rahul da Cunha |

So, we have a new President of India

Rahul da Cunha: Setting a President


Illustration/Uday Mohite


So, we have a new President of India. I know this is big news, but I ask with a respectful childlike curiosity - what does the President of India actually do? That is, of course, apart from cutting ribbons and standing by to exert a State of Emergency should the need arise.


I have Googled, Wikipediaed, read tomes and tomes at the Asiatic Library, the David Sassoon Library, but nothing has enlightened me on the true role of this great political figure in our Constitution.


I know previous Presidents have excelled in fields like finance, flying planes and solar systems. But, what's the specific job?

See, there's no debate about the function of other big, reverential leaders. Like, I know what the Prime Minister of India does. He runs the country, is also external affairs minister, finance minister, RBI governor, party president, world traveller, serial hugger… Yeah! The list is long.

Take other Presidents of Indian bodies. I know what they do, too.

The President of the BCCI's job is clear - he hires consultants, gives them responsibilities. Then, when they make decisions, like hiring a coach, who the captain doesn't vibe with, he changes the coach, then elects additional consultants, without consulting coach and captain, discovers they don't want these consultants, so they are left high and dry, and other assistant coaches are nominated and he has to figure a way to pacify the original consultants who have been 'hurt' because their choices of consultants have been pooh-pooed.

The President of the BMC has clear responsibilities - he must first and foremost keep our roads full of potholes and craters.

He has to also make sure the morale of his staff is kept high, no poking fun at their yeomen service by Radio Jockeys, especially when satirical videos of their work goes viral, and, in such cases, the RJ's home must be raided and accusations of dengue breeding must be levelled against the said people. And, when he is accused of harassment, he must defend the sanctity of the organisation, by saying that keeping all Mumbai roads pothole free doesn't fall under their jurisdiction.

Take Presidents of other countries. I know what they do, too.

The Prezzie of the US builds buildings in BKC, he builds walls between his country and Mexico, builds bridges with Russia, blocks immigrants from entering his country and tweets late into the night over steaming hot cups of covfefe.

In Pakistan, the President, the Prime Minister and the Army General all seem to be heroes like in a Manmohan Desai multi-starrer - they all have different functions but want to upstage the other for more screen time - and to make sneaky attacks on India and then take selfies with our PM at the subsequent SAARC summit.

So, that brings me back to my original question - what does the President of India do? In fact, now I learn we will soon have a new Vice-President.
Oh boy, dear reader… off to Asiatic Library.

Rahul da Cunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahuldacunha62@gmail.com

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