Illustration/Uday Mohite

We have no future together, yet...

By DR Love | Mumbai

Updated: 26 October, 2020 07:43 IST

You admit there is no future here, for reasons that seem superficial at best. If the two of you have accepted a relationship based on uncertainty, why are you surprised by her change of heart?

I have been in a relationship for more than 6 years. She used to love me a lot and would often say that she would never leave. She promised to get married to me once I was settled. Suddenly, some months ago, she denied everything, saying she wouldn't be able to marry me because of issues related to caste, family, etc. I agreed and we were happy, even though we knew we didn't have a future together. A few weeks ago, she told me she was beginning to lose interest in me. She is busy with work all day, and it may be stress or uncertainty that is making her feel like this, even though she says she still cares about me a lot. She cries a lot and has asked for some time to think. What should I do? How do I find out what is on her mind? She swears there is no one else, and I trust her because I am her first love. I want her back. Please help.
— Siddharth C
You admit there is no future here, for reasons that seem superficial at best. If the two of you have accepted a relationship based on uncertainty, why are you surprised by her change of heart? If there is no way this can evolve, isn't it normal for one of you to give up on it at some point? Would things be different if you were the one tired of this and choosing to move on? For how long do you think you can both sustain this before someone new enters your life, or hers? Also, when you say you want her back, what exactly does that mean? If she comes back, does that mean your relationship will suddenly be stable? I suggest you meet her once more and have a candid conversation about how things stand and what your individual expectations are. If she needs time and space to figure this out for herself, the best thing you can do is just give her that.

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First Published: 26 October, 2020 06:05 IST

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